Happy New Year friend!
Building classroom rapport is hard, especially with students who do your nut in.
You spend months trying to engage challenging pupils, only to feel like you're headbutting a wall.
I've been there too. Dealing with some of London’s most vulnerable students wasn’t a cakewalk.
But after 16 years of blood, sweat and energy drinks, I’ve come up with three nifty techniques to:
- Get key student information in 5 minutes or less
- Gently defuse tense situations by literally changing one word
- Use a magical phrase that makes you instantly more likeable if you time it right
You might think these techniques are laughably simple.
But you will be shocked at how effective they are.
Let's crack on shall we?
1. The FORD Framework
Struggling to build any goodwill with a student? Use FORD.
Put this in from day one.
FORD stands for:
- Family
- Occupation
- Recreation
- Dreams
So ask yourself these questions:
- Who are the people that support them?
- What career do they want to pursue after school?
- What do they do for fun?
- What is their ultimate dream?
Think of some questions around FORD and gently put them into your conversations.
You can't influence your students if you don’t know them. Using the FORD framework 9 times out of 10 will help you find common ground you can both stand on.
If students see you’re interested in their lives, you become more interesting to them.
#2: Change your 'Whys' into 'Whats'
Hang this up in your room somewhere—and stare at it every day.
Especially with challenging students, how we phrase questions can trigger flashpoints.
‘Why’ can sound accusatory, putting the other person on the defensive.
Especially if you have a nasally or harsh tone.
‘Why didn’t you do the homework?’
Here's the game-changer I found. When asking a question, don't use 'why.'
Use ‘what’ instead.
What stopped you from doing your homework?’ or ‘What could we do in the future to prevent this from happening?’
There are three reasons why 'what' works:
- ‘What’ makes you look at the situation, not the person.
- ‘What’ implies you want to understand the other person
- ‘What’ focuses on what you can do better next time
It's ludicrously simple. But it's devastatingly effective.
Try it and see. 😎
#3: The Three Magic Words
These three magic words are the ultimate relationship de-icer.
First, you need to be an active listener. For students you struggle to build relationships with, I want you to go into 'detective' mode. Your job is to find out what it is that gets their gears spinning.
Where appropriate, encourage them to talk about their interests. This is where FORD comes in clutch. When they talk about what they love, their eyes light up, their smile widens, and they speak more quickly.
Then, drop these three magic words in the conversation.
“Tell me more.”
Research suggests people listen for just 11 seconds before interrupting.
No wonder most of us don’t feel listened to.
As a rule of thumb, the longer you let people talk about what excites them, the more likeable you will be to them.
To 10x this effect, after they finish speaking, ask them this:
“How did it make you feel?”
Reliving these positive feelings helps them associate you with good things.
This is nothing new or revolutionary. Dale Carnegie based his classic book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' on this idea.
Dale wrote, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you".
And almost 100 years later, this is still valid.
The more interest you show in your students, the more 'buy-in' you earn.
And 'buy-in' is the currency of classroom leadership.
Spend it wisely.
Summary
To master classroom rapport:
- Find out about your students’ family, career, recreation and aspirations.
- Change your “Why” questions to “What” questions.
- Drop in these three magic words when they tell you about something they love: “Tell me more.”
With enough practice, this will become second nature, and classroom rapport will be a piece of carrot cake.
But if you’re still struggling, I have something for you.
If you have students who ignore instructions, are disrespectful and make your life a living hell, check out The Classroom Management Black Belt Level 1 video course
In less than two hours, you’ll learn three powerful communication techniques to motivate, engage, and guide even the most challenging students.
Plus, you’ll get a personalized PDF guidebook packed with case studies and practical tips to help you implement these techniques immediately.
I’ve condensed 16 years of experience and hundreds of consultancy hours into this course to help you lead any class.
Normally, the course costs £59.99, but for my Teach Outside the Robot subscribers, it’s half-price at £29.99.
This offer lasts until Friday 24th January 2025, at 8pm.
If you’re interested, click the link below and use the coupon code at the checkout.
https://payhip.com/order?link=t6wQl&pricing_plan=nKGv5bZ9Bb
TOTR50PCOFFJAN2025
The next TOTR comes out on Thursday 23rd January 2025.
Until then, take care.
Karl
